Friday, 19 April 2019

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Autistic Pride Day a Storming Success: AIDS & Cancer Pride to Follow! (SATIRE)

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The fat community have rightly discerned that there is no one correct body shape, and anyone who says that one body shape is more ‘healthy’ than another is clearly an ignorant Alt-Right bigot who is funded by the Koch Brothers. Stop reading Breitbart!
But yes… those who don’t understand my opinion are nothing other than ‘essentialists,’ i.e. deluded idiots who are trying to find the ‘real essence’ of one’s ‘true body’ behind the veil of appearance. Of course, as we all know and agree, this is a futile quest; essentialists are objectively evil!
Or at least they would be, if there actually were such a thing as good or evil to begin with; objective or otherwise!
So also it is with AIDS. Nobody has the right to tell you your immune system is less good than theirs; what does ‘good’ or ‘bad’ really mean anyway?! AIDS is NOT an imperfection, it is NOT a disease, and there is no TRUE ‘non-AIDS’ person behind the AIDS person. That’s just being exclusionary and intolerant; and that’s argument enough for me! What more need possibly be said?!

Meanwhile, the utterly wild-eyed, wacky, batshit crazy UK Green Party tells us:


Cancer and AIDS are not just ‘part of you.’ They ARE you, and you ARE them. There’s just no escape, so don’t even try! I mean… it’s not even like you can somehow distinguish between the ‘real me’ and the ‘fake me,’ or the ‘cancerous me’ and the ‘non-cancerous me,’ or the ‘AIDS me’ and the ‘non-AIDS me.’ These differences are all socially constructed.
Cancer and AIDS are not diseases, they are identities. If I choose to identify as someone with cancer, that is my human right to do so; nobody should EVER get to tell me I’m ‘not a REAL cancer sufferer.’
Likewise, anybody who says I can’t receive anti-retrovirals or chemotherapy or accommodations at work and studies on account of my lifestyle choice and my identity, is just an ignorant right wing bigot.
The whole myth of a ‘real / fake cancer’ and ‘real / fake AIDS’ is just an exclusionary, intolerant and unbearably undiverse attitude. These are just binary oppositions that are socially constructed all the way down. Nobody should be trying to pin people down, when the number of possible significations that can be attributed to cancer and AIDS are truly limitless!

When asked what they could possible mean by the latter pointless heap of intellectual jargon, the spokesperson looked a little flustered and said:

Socially constructed. Means what it says, says what it means. Does exactly what it says on the tin. Hail Ronseal!

Professor Smiggles aptly surmises:

If autism is indeed a cause for celebration, if self-diagnosis is indisputably legitimate, and horrible diseases are merely an achingly sexy and flamboyant ‘identity,’ and nothing remotely bad and negative, then there is no reason why cancer and AIDS cannot be too. If the premise holds, then the consequent is irrefutably deducible.
Sad to say, however, the premise is simply complete and utter tosh, and one is tempted to suspect one has lost about a billion brain cells, or thereabouts, in endeavouring to wade through the heap of utter sub-Parisian metropolitan sophistry above.

Originally published on Glossy News.

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